"Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging." ~Brené Brown in The Gifts of Imperfection
I'm currently reading this book by Brené Brown, and I can honestly say I have never read so slowly in my whole life. I am only on page 38, because after every page, I have to put the book down, think, process, and let the information sink in. It truly speaks to me, and I recognize myself in so many behaviors.
Brené Brown is a shame researcher, so the woman knows what she's talking about. She's making the argument, that often it is shame that is holding us back from 1) owning our story, and 2) progressing to be a better version of ourselves. I believe she is right. More often than not,if I find myself at a road block and I just can't get myself to get past it, shame is in some way related to it. It takes some real digging sometimes to recognize my shame. But if I'm not too lazy to do a little digging, I will come up with my answer, may it be shame or another reason that's holding me back.
Ask yourself if you are feeling shame when you do certain things.
Let's assume you have a sweet tooth. You have a stash of chocolate hidden somewhere in the house, like the top shelf of the pantry that is just tall enough to keep your chocolate hidden from your family. Then you have a bad day, you reach for your chocolate, and before you know it, it's gone. Every last bite of it.
Shame appears twice in this little paragraph.
1) You're ashamed to have this chocolate hidden from everyone. I'm not just talking about the kids who will destroy anything sweet that gets in their way. I'm talking about your significant other who also is totally unaware that you have this stash of chocolate. If you did not feel shame, you would not have to hide the chocolate.
2) You eat all the chocolate (then hide the wrapper underneath all the other trash).
"Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging."
If you told your spouse or significant other about this, would you be scared to be less loved, to be less worthy of being loved? Do you really think, that your spouse or significant other would withdraw their love for you because you ate all the chocolate?
If so, then you may want to think about whether your spouse's priorities are in the correct order.
The truth is, when you can own this story, you can finally dig deeper and understand where this sweet tooth came from and why you choose this behavior.
Are you simply addicted to sugar? Are your adrenals exhausted? Are you dealing with something that happened in your past and created a habit you can't shake? Is there a nutritional deficiency that makes you crave the wrong foods? Are you bored and need to fill your life with better things than chocolate?
To understand the "why" of your actions gives you the power to figure out "how" to put this behavior behind you.
Do you feel like you need a little extra help with this? Then you should definitely let me know. Nutritional Therapy is about so much more than me sitting in my teacher chair and telling you what to eat. I am here to help you find the cause and to walk into a new and better future.
Contact me now!
I've posted before about why you should avoid eating wheat.
Please check out my blog post HERE!
Today, a friend posted an article on Facebook that spoke about the "myth" of the big, bad gluten and went on to explain that we are just fine after 10,000 years of eating wheat. I beg to differ. We are not fine. We are sick, overweight, stressed, and all around unhealthy. Of course, it's not just gluten that is to blame for this. There is a much bigger picture, and I dug out an article on Discover Magazine, that was published on their website but was originally released in 1987.
It is the agricultural revolution that has our stomachs in a knot. Sure, agriculture was convenient, and made it possible for humans to settle down and form communities. Without it, we might still be hunter gatherers today. But it has also set us on a road of illness, from which it will be difficult to recover now that there are seven billion of us roaming the Earth.
Read some of the quotes from the article here. Or better yet, just read the whole thing!
"One straight forward example of what paleopathologists have learned from skeletons concerns historical changes in height. Skeletons from Greece and Turkey show that the average height of hunger-gatherers toward the end of the ice ages was a generous 5' 9'' for men, 5' 5'' for women. With the adoption of agriculture, height crashed, and by 3000 B. C. had reached a low of only 5' 3'' for men, 5' for women. By classical times heights were very slowly on the rise again, but modern Greeks and Turks have still not regained the average height of their distant ancestors."
"Compared to the hunter-gatherers who preceded them, the farmers had a nearly 50 per cent increase in enamel defects indicative of malnutrition, a fourfold increase in iron-deficiency anemia (evidenced by a bone condition called porotic hyperostosis), a theefold rise in bone lesions reflecting infectious disease in general, and an increase in degenerative conditions of the spine, probably reflecting a lot of hard physical labor. "Life expectancy at birth in the pre-agricultural community was bout twenty-six years," says Armelagos, "but in the post-agricultural community it was nineteen years. So these episodes of nutritional stress and infectious disease were seriously affecting their ability to survive."
"There are at least three sets of reasons to explain the findings that agriculture was bad for health. First, hunter-gatherers enjoyed a varied diet, while early fanners obtained most of their food from one or a few starchy crops. The farmers gained cheap calories at the cost of poor nutrition, (today just three high-carbohydrate plants -- wheat, rice, and corn -- provide the bulk of the calories consumed by the human species, yet each one is deficient in certain vitamins or amino acids essential to life.) Second, because of dependence on a limited number of crops, farmers ran the risk of starvation if one crop failed. Finally, the mere fact that agriculture encouraged people to clump together in crowded societies, many of which then carried on trade with other crowded societies, led to the spread of parasites and infectious disease. (Some archaeologists think it was the crowding, rather than agriculture, that promoted disease, but this is a chicken-and-egg argument, because crowding encourages agriculture and vice versa.) Epidemics couldn't take hold when populations were scattered in small bands that constantly shifted camp. Tuberculosis and diarrheal disease had to await the rise of farming, measles and bubonic plague the appearnce of large cities."